HoeMonkey Magazine

The “one up” guy or girl is the person who always has a better related story than you. These people are usually people who need a lot of attention or need some type of validation as an equal or believes they are better than everyone else. For example; you tell a story about how you got to ride in a speed boat, the “one up guy or girl” tells you they got to ride in a custom speed boat that was so much better than the one you are in. Most of these people do not realize the are doing it but you will notice they do it for just about any story that comes up in conversation.

“One Upping” is actually a common practice in conversation between people now a days especially in men. The worst part about this horrible trait in men is that it shows that more and more men do this because they are becoming more emasculated. In women it seems to be more of a response to someone the do not like, or they want to be like.

If you feel that you might be one of these people the best thing to do is just try to tone down your stories and only stick to real facts, and do not used gross exaggerations for each little detail. Assuming it is a real story and not a lie to be a part of the crowd. Another part of this, is to remember that you should think like Popeye, you are who you are, and to purposely “one up” people in conversation is showing your true colors if you get caught. In reality you should always be yourself, and if people do not accept who you are then the are not people that you should associate with. Most pathological and compulsive liars are “One Up” people. DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO ONE UP THINGS!!!

If you have a friend or family member that indulges in this trait the best thing to do is confront them about this problem. Be truthful and as them in private on a one on one basis, because if this is someone you care about there is nothing worse then watching them burn in flames around a crowd when they get caught or embarrased.

If you want to be a vengeance jerk then here are a few things you can do to catch them in the “One Up” remarks:

1) Tell a realistic fable tale that you can spin to catch someone in the “One Up” Lie, like “Hey I just rode in the brand new Ferrari XY900″ and usually a “One Up” person will be, yeah I rode in that same car a few weeks ago. Your response can be “Ummm I made that car up because I knew you would tell me other wise.”

2) Make them prove it, if you are talking about money and they go over the top saying they have more in their bank account make them prove it, hey there is always an ATM around somewhere that can print out your account funds. If it is some incredible feat, tell them to show you exactly.

3) Break down the facts on them, most people forget time and place but if this event is so special you should know things like who, what, and where. Like ask questions that should be basic in the “One Up” Persons story, such as who were you with, what were you doing, and where was it at, and ask a second time to see if the story is still the same

So here is a scenario I called a reputable Internet website for a double charge on my credit card for about 800 dollars just before the Holidays (Christmas for Christians) I called around 8:00pm PST and I ended up at an India call center where I could not understand the heavy accents from 3 separate people and they said it was a policy they have to authorize a sale first then charge later so a 400 dollar order became 800 dollars held up in my bank account. I asked them to remove the authorization from my card since they charge the money on a different credit card authorization. They said I would have to wait 3 to 4 days for the authorization to be dropped, just before Christmas day. Give me a break I can use that money for presents etc. So I decided to call my bank right after that 1 hour call and ended up in another India call center which was just as bad and they said that the Internet company is the one who would have to lift the authorization. SO nothing was done.

This is a common thing for larger companies to have their call centers in India from Dell to Verizon where they go through a little book trying to trouble shoot problem based on what a book says, but are companies really saving that much money in India verses having a call center in America or their prospective countries. Especially for technical support or computer support you will find an India Call Center just reads out of a book and doesn’t even know the product first hand and lets say they do not fix it the first time when you call again you have to go through the exact same process again and again until you can get transported to a real tech support representative back in the United States.

I think this is hurting companies more then helping using India call centers for the evenings help very little and confuses customers calling in just with the dialog accents alone. And most of these customer service people can not even help you they can only repeat the information on the screen and generalize what they are doing or repeat what an actual customer service rep is electronically texting to their computer screen which in itself seems moronic because why even have a middle man when I call a customer service support I want someone I can understand and help my needs and not read from a book of trouble shooting.

Tags: american companies, call center, india

What a lot of people around the world don’t realize is that companies who make Blue Tooth Devices are actually creating slaves and their cell phones have become the crack cocaine of this year! These little devices are taking over And they must be stopped.

Hey the more you read this site you will see that I am very accustom to technology and actually I feel this is one of the best products out there, I can work with clients and speak on the phone hands free while typing away without the hassles of a cord or holding a receiver phone but when did the BlueTooth become a piece of jewelry and for some people a hierarchy status of pompous Jackasses that feel they are so friggin important that they need their ear jack to a phone all day.

And hand free while driving a car? All speaking on a phone does while driving a car is allow you to accelerate that much quicker into your doom of stupidity Blue tooth now has millions of slaves doing their bidding which is being a pompous “A” Hole in public. There is no longer a difference between that crazy guy at the corner talking to himself the the superficial little bitch who is talking on the phone 24-7 while walking down the street. I personally think its rude to interrupt someone on the phone while they are speaking on it, just as much as I think its rude to speak to someone with a Blue Tooth in their ear, how the frig are you supposed to know they are speaking to you with that glow light off to the side of their head blinking.

Its time to fight back!

Things to do to a BlueTooth Whore:

1) While they are not looking put Vaseline in the ear piece or KY Jelly (because it’s funnier with KY Jelly) or used KY Jelly but you really have to hate the person to do that plus you will get questioned where you got used KY Jelly and you going to find out that wasn’t very cool in the first place.

2) put tape over their ear piece

3) repeat everything they say on their BlueTooth to them it confuses them easily

4) Hide it in random places (not very original but “meh” who cares

More to come!!!

Tags: blue tooth, bluetooth, headsets